The Slow Grace of God

I am grateful for the sometimes slow moving (sometimes agonizingly slow) grace of God. This grace has crept into my life incrementally over the last few months. Enough so now that I actually sense it.
When my dear father died this past October 5th it was as if a plug was pulled on my soul and virtually all vitality was drained. It was like getting sucker-punched in the gut but my wind didn’t return to my lungs. It was an unsettled feeling – that mix of confusion and fear when you startle awake in the middle of the night but you don’t know why: did I just have a nightmare? Did I just hear someone breaking into my house
?I went weeks not being able to pray – to read – to concentrate. My motivation level was as low as my physical energy – nothing there whatsoever. I had to force myself to do even the simplest of tasks. Even though I know my dad is in heaven. Even though I got to be with him in his final moments here on earth. Even though I know he loved me and that he knew I loved him. Even though I have no regrets regarding my relationship with him.
I am starting to do better and I wanted you to know that. I wanted to thank you for your kind words and thoughtful notes and cards. Thanks for praying for me when I couldn’t pray for myself.
Please forgive me for this being so personal. Forgive me for this being so morbid in our season of Christmas celebration. I just wanted you to know that I am doing better and I am grateful.
I am grateful we have a Heavenly Father who understands loss and heartache. He experienced it himself.
I pray His grace meets your greatest need.